Klinger Chronicles
by samanddianefan10
Summary: 100 word snippet series of Klinger POV's
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thanks to Texas Bluebonnet for the Klinger inspiration!:)**

I can't believe it, I just can't believe it. The telegram came that I never thought I'd receive. Well, I thought there was a good chance I might receive one. Half of my buddies got one. Boy did I try to run but the army can run faster than me. Before you know it they come knocking on my door. A guy can't even hide in peace. Soon enough I'm standing before Uncle Sam. The people aren't so bad. I'm not going to get used to them. I'm not going to be here that long. I'm in the army now.


	2. Chapter 2

Laverne. That's my girl back home. She's awfully swell. We've been dating for over a year. I met her at a buddy's house. Actually she was dating my buddy, Harry, but I guess I made her laugh. Anyhow I asked her to the movies, a Gene Kelly one. And she said yes. After that we were inseparable. I have never met a dame like her before. She laughs at all my jokes. She likes to go fishing. She likes to go with me to Tony Packo's and agrees it's the coolest joint around. I think she's the one for me.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry Blake. He was a cool cat. I used to try everything I could to get section 8's. I brought him notes from home. I told him that my whole family had died. He never seemed to believe me. I even had proof! Say what you want about him, he was too smart for my plans. Too bad, they should have worked. Apparently he kept a file of all my handiwork. What a crying shame. I tried everything I could to get him to believe me. Sometimes I wondered why I ever bothered. Still I had to try. Always try.


	4. Chapter 4

I wear dresses. Some people, most people actually, think that's strange. I don't. I think it's perfectly normal to want to get out of the army. I would do anything to want to leave. If it means donning women's attire than so be it. I can think of worse ways to leave. Like in a pine box. Or limbless. I should know, I've seen it too many times to count. So give me a needle and thread and let me go to town. It doesn't hurt to try. One of these days someone's bound to notice. I'll get my day..


	5. Chapter 5

My girl's gone. Laverne's left me for another man. I can't believe it. What did I do wrong? All I ever did was answer the draft notice. I had no choice. Either serve or do time. I didn't even get any notice. I didn't ask much of her. I work hard over here. I save a few bucks and send it home on a regular basis. I don't have much, but what's mine is hers. I was saving up so we can have a real home one of these days. I thought we could have kids once I got home.


	6. Chapter 6

Purgatory- A place or condition of suffering or remorse. That's what Korea is. I'd never seen a place like this before. I knew that war is hell but to see what I see? No one told me that I'd see the insides of a person on the outsides every day. I don't know how Hawkeye and B.J. can stand there and put look at these guys without going crazy. I try to go in and out without asking why this happens. I don't tell my mom what it's like over here. She'd go nuts with worry if she only knew.


	7. Chapter 7

I met this girl who likes me. I was singing this song in front of everyone. She asked me to sit down. She laughed at my jokes and she asked me my name. I told her who I was and told her about Toledo. She said she'd like to go there someday. I promised to take her to Paris. Her name was Debbie, a real exotic name. I didn't want to blow this one. She knew I wore dresses and she didn't even care! I talked about getting a house, but she did not want one. That's when I knew.


	8. Chapter 8

Toledo. Home sweet home. The land that I love. What I wouldn't give to be there right now. I can just smell the baklava cooking as I speak. I'd kill for a Tony Packo's special instead of the U.S. Army regulation "chicken" patty (I doubt very much is made up of chicken). I remember as a child going to Willow Beach Amusement Park and having the time of my life. I'll take my own kids there, if I ever make it out of here. I can't wait to see the Mud Hens play again. Nothing like your hometeam heroes.


End file.
